My graduations as a driver
This is something that suddenly occurred to me in the morning. I remember the way I started and look at me now. It’s a story of conquering your fears. And I thought that this ought to be brought to light.
Yes, I was never as bad at anything as I was at driving…except maybe studying…and maybe cooking …and maybe housekeeping…and….er…Ok. forget it!! My point is when I started, I started at the beginning. I would love to go into details of my lessons in driving, but then the focus of the story will change to the martyr who nearly sacrificed himself over and over to my driving - my driving teacher. So, let’s say that Regional Transport Authority felt immense pity for my teacher and setting aside the purpose of greater good, they caved in and handed me my license – to drive any LMV - Light Motor Vehicle - in my case, Maruti 800. This happened nearly 10 years ago.I got my license in august 2000, I joined _______ in September 2000 and I got my first car in April 2001. For the rest of the discussion I will be referring to all my passengers as the IMCP (Insignificant Male Counter Part). The IMCP category includes my carpoolers, my trainer, my husband etc.
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P.S. : No female of the homo sapiens has ever had any problem with my driving.
P.P.S.: Other than the Year 2010 IMCP, all the rest have confessed their feelings about my driving. So, it is very little guesswork.
P.P.P.S: At times some of the thoughts mentioned in the blog were actually expressed. But the language used was far from what a lady like me can mention.
P.P.P.P.S: Situations and exact make of vehicles have been disguised (except for the cycle and bike and van and bus) to maintain anonymity.
P.P.P.P.P.S: In MY blog, I can write a post-script wherever I wish. You are not allowed to judge me!!!
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Graduation 1:
------------------
Year :2000
IMCP: My driving teacher
Me (thought): OMG, I can’t believe that I am going to drive this. The traffic, the people, the dogs. I hope my IMCP will be able to control this well. If I die in all this, it will all be his fault. Look at that cycle - why does he not drive on the top of my car?? And that bike – for all you know he is purposely trying to come in my way. Ooooh that van would have got me!!! Oh My God!! I am going to die -
IMCP(thoughts): OMG, I can’t believe she is going to drive this. The traffic, the people, the dogs. I hope I will be able to control this well. If I die in all this, it will all be my fault. Look at that cycle – why doesn’t she run him over already. What is she doing to that bike fellow – why is she following him?? Thank god I turned the steering right, else she would have got that van!!! Oh My God!! Someone is going to die. I hate women drivers.
Graduation 2:
------------------
Year : 2006 (Yes, I did not use my brand new car for 5 years)
IMCP: A car-pooler
Me(thought) : Hey!! I cant believe that I am driving this. The traffic is not that bad. The people and dogs are in the way, but nothing that a good application of brakes cant resolve. If I drive slowly, IMCP cant raise any objection. He will just think that I am a cautious driver. Aaah, a cycle. I can let it pass and then move slowly ahead. Why is that bike honking at me? I am going to let him pass anyways. Ooooh that van was fast and rash!!! If I was anything other than cautious I would have been dead -
IMCP(thought) : Hey!! I cant believe that she is driving this. There is no traffic. One person about a mile away or a dog in the balcony. With the number of times she is braking, I wonder we are not going backward. If she is scared, she should not be behind the wheel. Aaah, a cycle is over-taking me. I can walk faster. That bike is honking. Can you blame that poor fellow?? I wish I were with him!! Oh great!!! Now a van at 20 kmph is overtaking me. Why did I accept to travel with her, we are anyway wasting more petrol?? I wish I was dead. I hate women drivers.
Graduation 3:
------------------
Year : 2007
iMCP : My ex-fiance (yeah, he is my husband now)
Me(thought) : Now I am a confident driver. I can handle this kind of traffic. I will ignore the pedestrians and dogs. They are mere distractions. They know how to take care of their lives. Am I in the speed limit? Of course I am. I can crank up a few miles. If something goes wrong, IMCP will handle it. Oh God!! That bugger driving the cycle. He should be in a sanatorium. All the bike drivers should be steadily and painfully executed. Yeah, right!! You have a van, so you should honk. Looks like you got a new horn. I am increasing the volume of my CD player. I dunno which song is on. Am I too distracted??
IMCP(thought): She does not look too confident driving. I guess she is a bit cautious. I love her. That man got back in nick of time. Ok. She definitely scared that guy on cycle. That is a cool bike. I will get her to sell this M800. I will buy a bike. Then she will never drive. She is autocratic on the road. Why is she increasing the speed?? She did not change the gear. Maybe the car will breakdown. That will be supercool!! Who is honking? Oh the van. He wants to overtake, why she is not letting him pass? Oh, she is driving at 40 kmph. That’s the speed limit. She wont budge. She has cranked up the radio. I hate this song. I feel pity for the van driver. She is being cruel to him. Of course, I love her. Maybe more than anyone else. Who does so much for his fiancée? Maybe I can convince her into never driving again. That would be a miracle of love!! I hate women drivers.
Graduation 4:
------------------
Year : 2009
IMCP : Another carpooler and a good friend
Me(thought) : Hmm. Now I don’t even need to think of driving. I am so used to it, I can drive in my sleep. Maybe I should try to sleep. The traffic jam is irritating. Let me change the radio channel. Wow!! The invisible miracle that a cycle is!! The guy does not have space to walk, but he can carry his cycle across the traffic jam. That’s the way to beat the jam!!! Oh God!! Men are jerks. Whats that guy doing?? Why is he getting into opposite lane?? Does he think that all the people waiting in the correct lane are idiots?? Great!! Now even the van driver went past by. Why was he looking at me? Is he taunting me because I am a girl?? Or is he taunting my M800?? I have to show him. I am going into the opposite lane. Ha!! There!! Overtook him!! Now he wont ever dare to look at a girl and he will learn to respect M800!!! Ha ha ha ha ha…..
IMCP(thought): Cool. I had a 9 o’clock that I am going to miss. I anyway did not want to attend it. I can blame the traffic. Traffic Jam is the best place to be when u don’t want to go to office. Lets take a nap. Only if this girl does not keep changing channels. That guy has picked his cycle. I wonder if he is strong or the bike is light. I have to join a gym. Then I can wear tight T-shirts. And maybe I will have a tattoo. Everyone is going from the opposite lane. Why are we waiting?? Everyone in this lane is an idiot. Why is she steering into the opposite lane? Oh no!! Is she following that van driver?? Oh God!! Is she even noticing the upcoming bus?? I have to close my eyes now. God, if I don’t make it, I love my mommy and daddy very much!! Ow!! Ow!! That van driver had an heart-attack. I hope he did not note the car number. I don’t think he or the bus driver will ever drive again. I hate women drivers.
Graduation 5:
------------------
Year : 2010
IMCP : One more carpooler and a good friend (I hope he does not read this)
Me(thought): I own this road….Vrooooom ….Vroooom………Vroooooooom…………..
IMCP(thought): How does that song begin?? I got it!!! I’m gonna wake up, yes and no!! I’m gonna kiss, some part off!! I’m gonna keep this secret!! I’m gonna close my body now!! I hope I’ll die another day!!.....
Yes, I was never as bad at anything as I was at driving…except maybe studying…and maybe cooking …and maybe housekeeping…and….er…Ok. forget it!! My point is when I started, I started at the beginning. I would love to go into details of my lessons in driving, but then the focus of the story will change to the martyr who nearly sacrificed himself over and over to my driving - my driving teacher. So, let’s say that Regional Transport Authority felt immense pity for my teacher and setting aside the purpose of greater good, they caved in and handed me my license – to drive any LMV - Light Motor Vehicle - in my case, Maruti 800. This happened nearly 10 years ago.I got my license in august 2000, I joined _______ in September 2000 and I got my first car in April 2001. For the rest of the discussion I will be referring to all my passengers as the IMCP (Insignificant Male Counter Part). The IMCP category includes my carpoolers, my trainer, my husband etc.
*****************************************************
P.S. : No female of the homo sapiens has ever had any problem with my driving.
P.P.S.: Other than the Year 2010 IMCP, all the rest have confessed their feelings about my driving. So, it is very little guesswork.
P.P.P.S: At times some of the thoughts mentioned in the blog were actually expressed. But the language used was far from what a lady like me can mention.
P.P.P.P.S: Situations and exact make of vehicles have been disguised (except for the cycle and bike and van and bus) to maintain anonymity.
P.P.P.P.P.S: In MY blog, I can write a post-script wherever I wish. You are not allowed to judge me!!!
******************************************************
Graduation 1:
------------------
Year :2000
IMCP: My driving teacher
Me (thought): OMG, I can’t believe that I am going to drive this. The traffic, the people, the dogs. I hope my IMCP will be able to control this well. If I die in all this, it will all be his fault. Look at that cycle - why does he not drive on the top of my car?? And that bike – for all you know he is purposely trying to come in my way. Ooooh that van would have got me!!! Oh My God!! I am going to die -
IMCP(thoughts): OMG, I can’t believe she is going to drive this. The traffic, the people, the dogs. I hope I will be able to control this well. If I die in all this, it will all be my fault. Look at that cycle – why doesn’t she run him over already. What is she doing to that bike fellow – why is she following him?? Thank god I turned the steering right, else she would have got that van!!! Oh My God!! Someone is going to die. I hate women drivers.
Graduation 2:
------------------
Year : 2006 (Yes, I did not use my brand new car for 5 years)
IMCP: A car-pooler
Me(thought) : Hey!! I cant believe that I am driving this. The traffic is not that bad. The people and dogs are in the way, but nothing that a good application of brakes cant resolve. If I drive slowly, IMCP cant raise any objection. He will just think that I am a cautious driver. Aaah, a cycle. I can let it pass and then move slowly ahead. Why is that bike honking at me? I am going to let him pass anyways. Ooooh that van was fast and rash!!! If I was anything other than cautious I would have been dead -
IMCP(thought) : Hey!! I cant believe that she is driving this. There is no traffic. One person about a mile away or a dog in the balcony. With the number of times she is braking, I wonder we are not going backward. If she is scared, she should not be behind the wheel. Aaah, a cycle is over-taking me. I can walk faster. That bike is honking. Can you blame that poor fellow?? I wish I were with him!! Oh great!!! Now a van at 20 kmph is overtaking me. Why did I accept to travel with her, we are anyway wasting more petrol?? I wish I was dead. I hate women drivers.
Graduation 3:
------------------
Year : 2007
iMCP : My ex-fiance (yeah, he is my husband now)
Me(thought) : Now I am a confident driver. I can handle this kind of traffic. I will ignore the pedestrians and dogs. They are mere distractions. They know how to take care of their lives. Am I in the speed limit? Of course I am. I can crank up a few miles. If something goes wrong, IMCP will handle it. Oh God!! That bugger driving the cycle. He should be in a sanatorium. All the bike drivers should be steadily and painfully executed. Yeah, right!! You have a van, so you should honk. Looks like you got a new horn. I am increasing the volume of my CD player. I dunno which song is on. Am I too distracted??
IMCP(thought): She does not look too confident driving. I guess she is a bit cautious. I love her. That man got back in nick of time. Ok. She definitely scared that guy on cycle. That is a cool bike. I will get her to sell this M800. I will buy a bike. Then she will never drive. She is autocratic on the road. Why is she increasing the speed?? She did not change the gear. Maybe the car will breakdown. That will be supercool!! Who is honking? Oh the van. He wants to overtake, why she is not letting him pass? Oh, she is driving at 40 kmph. That’s the speed limit. She wont budge. She has cranked up the radio. I hate this song. I feel pity for the van driver. She is being cruel to him. Of course, I love her. Maybe more than anyone else. Who does so much for his fiancée? Maybe I can convince her into never driving again. That would be a miracle of love!! I hate women drivers.
Graduation 4:
------------------
Year : 2009
IMCP : Another carpooler and a good friend
Me(thought) : Hmm. Now I don’t even need to think of driving. I am so used to it, I can drive in my sleep. Maybe I should try to sleep. The traffic jam is irritating. Let me change the radio channel. Wow!! The invisible miracle that a cycle is!! The guy does not have space to walk, but he can carry his cycle across the traffic jam. That’s the way to beat the jam!!! Oh God!! Men are jerks. Whats that guy doing?? Why is he getting into opposite lane?? Does he think that all the people waiting in the correct lane are idiots?? Great!! Now even the van driver went past by. Why was he looking at me? Is he taunting me because I am a girl?? Or is he taunting my M800?? I have to show him. I am going into the opposite lane. Ha!! There!! Overtook him!! Now he wont ever dare to look at a girl and he will learn to respect M800!!! Ha ha ha ha ha…..
IMCP(thought): Cool. I had a 9 o’clock that I am going to miss. I anyway did not want to attend it. I can blame the traffic. Traffic Jam is the best place to be when u don’t want to go to office. Lets take a nap. Only if this girl does not keep changing channels. That guy has picked his cycle. I wonder if he is strong or the bike is light. I have to join a gym. Then I can wear tight T-shirts. And maybe I will have a tattoo. Everyone is going from the opposite lane. Why are we waiting?? Everyone in this lane is an idiot. Why is she steering into the opposite lane? Oh no!! Is she following that van driver?? Oh God!! Is she even noticing the upcoming bus?? I have to close my eyes now. God, if I don’t make it, I love my mommy and daddy very much!! Ow!! Ow!! That van driver had an heart-attack. I hope he did not note the car number. I don’t think he or the bus driver will ever drive again. I hate women drivers.
Graduation 5:
------------------
Year : 2010
IMCP : One more carpooler and a good friend (I hope he does not read this)
Me(thought): I own this road….Vrooooom ….Vroooom………Vroooooooom…………..
IMCP(thought): How does that song begin?? I got it!!! I’m gonna wake up, yes and no!! I’m gonna kiss, some part off!! I’m gonna keep this secret!! I’m gonna close my body now!! I hope I’ll die another day!!.....
posted by D at 1:33 PM
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